Separation appears to be the best option

I've decided in effort to streamline my comments more on-topic that I would divide my blog's up into some sort of categories. I think I am going to continue to maintain The Ramblings as a typical Journal of what is going on in my life. I know I will eventually become more upbeat, but people have to know that quadriplegics suffer from low points or depression dislike about everyone else. Additionally, I am considering doing a blog specifically targeted at issues which affected the disabled community, but specifically individuals suffering from paralysis. In effort to improve my ability to write some critical analysis of movies and books, I think I will make a separate blog page on what I think about specific books, movies, and television shows.

My insouciant (lethargic) state has returned

The last two days have been extremely difficult. I have once again suffered a setback with my bowels and cannot explain exactly why this is transpiring. The pain this morning was very nonplussing given the limited food which I consumed yesterday. The bowel complications led to me staying in bed on a day when I normally get up and try to be as active as possible. I can attribute my decision to remain in bed in part to the enormous fatigue which I have been dealing with for the last few weeks. I have not been able to get a sufficient amount of sleep and cannot properly explain exactly what my problem is right now. I know my shoulder is almost continuously in discomfort and I am having difficulty adjusting to the changing weather, but it is not very often that I experience this type of annoyance. Yesterday morning, while watching one of my favorite television shows, "Grey's Anatomy", I became acutely aware of the adversities I am currently undergoing regarding pain and possible denial. I was watching two older episodes, on my TIVO, and the themes were pain and denial. They struck a chord with me and made me realize some of the fatigue and insomnia may be the result of continuous denial of the fact that I am uncomfortable much of the time. I should think about discussing this with my physician at my next appointment and at the very least talk about the disruptions in my normal life caused by the fatigue and bowel disturbances. The good news is that my bowels are feeling considerably better this afternoon and other than fatigue and the disturbing reappearance of a general state of listlessness (insouciance), I feel much better than I have in the past few days. I can only hope I will continue to grow stronger once again and regain all of the vigor which I have been lacking as of late.

Spared the Brunt of Wilma

My family and I are both relieved and elated that Wilma chose not to bear its wrath on the Tampa Bay area. This is especially true given the amount of destruction in South Florida. Our hearts go out to all those individuals which are suffering. Thankfully my possibly inadequate preparations were not necessary. I do know, however, I would have been able to make it for about three days without electricity, even though it would have been difficult given all my circumstances. The cold front, which typically I disdain , made things decisively more comfortable in terms of heat and would have made living here a lot easier sans electricity; I am just relieved we do not have to test that possibility. It seems as if the majority of people did not take Wilma seriously. This was evident in my neighborhood, where trash was put out right before the storm and hardly anyone bothered to remove Halloween decorations or any other materials left outside their house. I fully comprehend it did not appear as if Tampa was going to be struck by the hurricane, but you would think more individuals would take it seriously considering what transpired in Punta Gorda last year with Hurricane Charley. I guess I can understand some of the complacency up here, but I am absolutely shocked and in utter disbelief at how many people in South Florida chose to ignore all the warnings of the potential strength and damaging effects of Hurricane Wilma. One would think given all the devastation which Floridians have suffered through over the last year and the absolutely horrific situation in the aftermath of Katrina that people, with the financial ability to do so, would heed all of the warnings given by the state.

When is Wilma coming?

My last blog concerned preparations for the impending hurricane, however, now it is more of a question of when the hurricane is going to be arriving and where is it going to be striking? Right now, it appears more likely that the Tampa Bay area will be largely missed, but even tropical force winds can be damaging. Nonetheless, the damage should be much less minimal than if we would take a direct hit and therefore I will probably not be required to make arrangements for evacuation. This is a welcome relief.

The majority of able-bodied individuals, that additionally enjoy the privilege of having enough money, can simply get into a car and leave the area with a few valuable papers, therefore evacuation is nothing more than quick planning. This is not the case with high-level quadriplegics which require special accommodations. For instance, do I need to bring my ramp? Do the rooms have high thresholds or are their thresholds low enough to enable easy access? Can the bed be elevated off the floor so that a lift can be placed underneath it? Is there enough space in the room to allow a wheelchair and a lift to maneuver effectively? All of these questions have to be answered and it is arduous to find sufficient answers over the telephone. I have known other quadriplegics that have had to stay in the vehicle for many hours because rooms did not meet the specifications which we unfortunately require. I guess this is the price we pay, but many quadriplegics cannot afford it at all.

On a different topic, I have been reading my new Robert Ludlum book and feel woefully inadequate when it comes to writing. It is difficult to read a master and then think about your own writing aspirations. Sometimes it does give me pause to think about going back and taking a course in creative writing, but I just don't know if I can part with the funds right now. I have also read through the New York Times review of "A History of Violence" and plan on writing a small review myself. I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but I am considering doing a special blog on movies. They may be rather late, especially since I have been cutting down on my moviegoing experiences, but maybe it will give me some well needed experience in this field. It would be interesting to be able to conflate some of my favorite pastimes (moviegoing and writing). Well, that is enough for now. I hope I did not make too many errors, but I dictated directly into Internet Explorer and this does not afford me the opportunity to go back and change my voice profile later, like NaturallySpeaking does.

My, after reading through this, it is a bunch of desultory rubbish. I wish I was able to search through the blogs which are online to find interesting ones to read, but I cannot seem to master the art. I have tried putting in phrases which I have used in my blogs and they never appear in any of the search engines. I am still nonplussed that Lewis Perdue was able to see that I had made a reference to his book. On that topic, I am still planning on doing a review, but I will probably defer until tomorrow.

Wilma is coming

I don't know how much I will be getting done over the next few days. Preparations for the arrival of Hurricane Wilma are taking up the majority of my time. I, personally, am very torn about whether to stay in the area or try to find a safer refuge. I guess I will have to wait until Friday to make my final determination, but I am considering calling the VA hospital tomorrow to determine if there is any room availability for me and a caregiver. Last year I consider going to the special-needs shelter, however, there is no privacy whatsoever and my bowel evacuation methods require some facsimile of privacy. All of my intentions have gone by the wayside. Survival is of paramount and we will be preparing by making sure I have all of my supplies, in addition to checking on the generator and possibly looking at doing some other protective measures to my house. I am hopeful we will not lose power this go around, but at least it is not nearly as hot as it was last year when all of the hurricanes came through. Once again I'm going to have to put all of my grandiose endeavors, including those regarding blogs, on hold. Good bye for now and wish me well.

Still lacking the incredible drive

I really have not had the lust lately to do much other than watch TV, read a little bit, and putts around the Internet. I don't quite understand why I have not had the same drive that I normally do and in fact I am really badgering myself about not getting nearly as much time is normal. I was thinking of several subjects I could hit on which other quadriplegics or individuals that are trying to learn what quadriplegics deal with would think was interesting. I am going to try to write about the subjects (how I feel about my inability to move, the frustrations have not been able to move, difficulties with relationships, caregiver difficulties, common daily activities, nightmares, health-related subjects, etc.), but I'm going to try to take my time and do it a little bit every now and then. I am still committed to giving a review on the Lewis Perdue book, but I guess that enthusiasm I normally have is in short supply. I will try later tonight, but right now I'm going to read some of my new book by Robert Ludlum.

Today is a good day to talk about reading. As a high-level quadriplegics that has no ability to move anything below my neck, reading, normally an enjoyable task for most people, is an arduous endeavor to say the least. I have simplified as much as I can and hopefully I will be able to provide a picture with this particular post. I try to read novels which can fit in my book stands, but every now and then I have to cut a book into or wait on a paperback so I can make sure it will fit. I utilize for would book stands which have Plexiglas to hold the pages in place. I turn the pages with a mousestick, so if I'm going to backtrack or look at the index it can take me a considerable amount of time to do this. By the way, as of right now I am still unable to read in bed and therefore reading only takes place when I am up in my chair. This in itself becomes a task and does not lend itself to being as enjoyable as it is to the able-bodied individual which can ly on account or bed and read at their own leisure.
(Need to look this over. It not have an opportunity to determine if the text is what I actually dictated).

Stars really do not have to be heroes, at least not all of time

Has anyone else noticed the propensity for police drama's to use their main characters in unorthodox and often highly unbelievable ways? For instance, just last week the new crime drama Killer Instinct began its ending sequence with the two lead detectives, Johnny Messner and Kristin Lehman, discovering a serial murderer was murdering her victims in order to extricate transplanted, and in her delusional mind obviously Mephistophelian, body parts from the acquitted murderer of her unborn baby. The rub was which victim was next? After discovering both were mistaken in their initial guesses, they did finally figure out which of the potential victims was next only to realize the murderer was already at the scene. What did they do next? Surely not what a real homicide detective would do in this situation. They hauled ass across town just in the nick of time to discover the perpetrator leaning over her victim with a rotating saw just about to cut the chest open. After a few tension filled moments they were able to disarm the murderer and all ended well. Well, about as well as one can expect for such a show.

Some might believe this criticism is a bit harsh and this type of action scene is more the exception than the rule, however, those individuals are sadly mistaken. The opposite In fact is the true reality of police dramas. There are very few of these types of shows which do not have protagonists breaking down doors and wielding weapons in order to save an unsuspecting victim. One of the worst violators is CSI Miami. The examples are too many to annotate, but just in this season opener Horatio, David Caruso, discovers that a pregnant woman is about to be killed while she is in the hospital. Giving the benefit of doubt to the writers, one can assume Horatio knew it would take some time for the perpetrator to arrive, but does he have a sufficient law-enforcement presence or does he tried to get a sufficient number of police officers to help or rest the suspect instead of endangering the poor woman's life? The more common sense answer would be yes, however, the writers have decided to go sans help. To make matters worse, Caruso, waiting by himself, waits until the perpetrator is approaching the victim before accosting him. One could ask what is to be expected from such an overly melodramatic actor and show, but other dramas which are normally pretty decent also have their slipups. For instance, Law Order: Special Victims Units has also made occasional screwup. The most notorious example which quickly comes to mind was when Benson and Stabler, during an intense interrogation of a suspect at their offices downtown, discovered the location of their abducted informant and friend, who they also knew was in danger of dying at any moment. With the location of the induction site being near a dock and a considerable distance from their office one might expect them to call for the myriad of police officers available in New York City to rescue this individual. No, this is not the case at all. The poor lady, on the brink of death at any moment and who also happened to be a nun, had to wait for the two stars to show up, strangely accompanied by uniformed police officers, to cut the padlock and rescue her. This was tacky to say the least.

Why can't the writers and producers be satisfied with the protagonists simply discovering the elements of the case and the perpetrator and if it is necessary to have an extremely dramatic and tensive moment at the end simply have regular police officers that are called in to save the day? Perhaps it is necessary to show how brave the stars are and how stupid the audience really is in reality, but this one person does not believe this is necessary. One show which does not follow this norm is the original CSI. Just last week, after discovering they, Gill and Sarah (William L. Peterson and Jorja Fox), were about to enter a room which had the potential of being occupied by an armed individual, they immediately call for help. This is what true investigators, especially crime scene investigators, would do given the circumstances. It is difficult to understand why the writers of the majority of police dramas insist on playing down to the intellect of the audience. It is time we demanded more.

The light is within sight

This week has been punctuated by significant improvements in my health. I am finally starting to get out of my funk and just beginning to reengage my enthusiastic lifestyle. For well over three weeks I suffered from a multitude of difficulties, but I have started to come out of all of them, including my bowel problems. I did have a recent relapse, but I am really convinced it is the result of the pizza I am eating. Unfortunately, I enjoyed eating this piece and it may be a sacrifice which I need to make in order to regain my comfort which I enjoyed previously. On September 29 I went to the hospital and complained of enormous bouts of languorousness which were due to fatigue, low blood pressure, and generally feeling pretty lousy. Fortunately, the majority of those symptoms have gone away and this is perhaps the result of my implementation of a plan, which my doctor had encouraged quite some time ago, for me to sleep at a 30° angle. It does seem to be helping, but I am still quite anxious about the possibility of getting a pressure ulcer. The reason this could happen is because my mattress does not rotate as much when it is at a higher angle. In case I did not mentioned previously, I have a lateral rotational overlay, which is basically a mattress with air bladders contained in the foam. The bladders inflate every 15 minutes to change the angle which my body happens to be lying and thereby protecting the integrity of my skin. This mattress affords me the opportunity to spend all night and day without being turned manually. It also allows me the opportunity to be about myself for extended periods of time as well as get as much sleep as possible. Sleep is something that many quadriplegics do not seem to have a great premium. I, however, am able to get ample supply the majority of the time, but I do suffer from occasional bouts of insomnia. Although, I am a night owl and definitely do not like waking up real early in the morning. I know this blogs a jumbled mess, but I wanted to include the fact that I was able to get a flu shot at my September 29 appointment. Many people do not think receiving the immunization against influenza is vital to good health. I believe and know my ability to remain healthy has been significantly enhanced by the yearly injections. It is imperative quadriplegics receive yearly influenza shots and the pneumonia shot at least every five years. While I did feel rather ache for a few days, it is much better to experience this discomfort than to take the chances of contracting a full-blown flu virus.

My commitment to get going on more blogs is still there, but I have been battling my difficulties as of late and additionally pressured by external measures which affect my concentration and do not permit me the ability to put much into a blog. I do have grandiose plans, but I will have to see how I am able to implement some of those measures. I have some notes and would really like to make some meaningful blogs, nonetheless, I initially started this blog in order to inform some people have how quadriplegics deal with everyday situations. I am thinking seriously about starting another blog to cover other areas which are not really related to quadriplegia. I guess I will have to think this over and determine if it is really viable to start another blog or if I should show quadriplegics are capable of many of the same outlooks as able-bodied people and perhaps give more insight into my feelings. Once again, I am still intending to write something about the Lewis Perdue's book. Hopefully I will get around to that within the next two days.