Not another boring day

I had every intention of writing something meaningful today, yeah right I always say that, but I completely forgot about the Buccaneers football game tonight. Yes I know, every woman or a least a majority are rolling their eyes right now, nonetheless, football is pretty important in my life. I am excited that I have tickets to go see my alma mater USF (University of South Florida) on the weekend with my nephew. This will be his first football game and I am hoping the male bonding experience works out well. Even though his father attends the games, he absolutely knows nothing about football. The only reason he goes is because he is still a student. He was just never interested in football and I don't blame him, but it is definitely difficult for his son to get interested in something his father is completely ignorant of.

Once again today wasn't very eventful, but it seems like that has been the trend in my life lately and perhaps that is not such a bad thing. One thing of note did occur, I completely spaced that the cleaners were coming over and they showed up while I was still sleeping. Whoops! That hasn't happened before, but it explains how I forgot about the football game also. Maybe my memory is atrophying once again.

Although I am impressed with the accuracy of my new software, I am having some difficulties with the process of correcting words as I go along. I really need to take a little time out and look at the book, but that will probably have to wait until tomorrow. The high note of tomorrow is supposed to be my air conditioner getting repaired. Man my life is exciting. I should just go to a movie and take a break on reality. It seems I have forgotten the commitment I had quite some time ago to go to the movies once a week. I have been too consumed with getting my brother and his family moved over to their house successfully and have not concentrated on my own desires and needs too much. It's time to change that, unfortunately this requires one of them to drive me around. They are probably thinking it's time for them to consider their own interest more than mine.
Until next time.
Billy

No tropical storm Ernesto here

This has been a blissfully noneventfull day, given that we were supposed to get bombarded by a storm. Thankfully I did not lose power or didn't get much bad weather whatsoever. I spent the majority of the day trying to understand, which I still don't, why my voice software will not give the proper audio response when I put it to sleep or tell the microphone to shut off. Almost everyone that visits me for the first time gets a kick out of the responses my computer gives when I tell it to "go to sleep." It actually snores back, to let me know it did go to sleep. Whenever I turn the microphone off it responds with an irritating "off" which would make your skin crawl if you had to listen to it constantly.

The only thing that audio response I was able to get to work was the audio wave file which lets me know the computer is active when I tell it to wake up. Since my computer, as I am sure I have blogged about before, is named Dr., I thought it was appropriate it should respond with, "Please state the nature of the medical emergency." I know it's corny, but you don't even know how much. I actually have a recording of Star Trek Voyager's Emergency Medical Hologram, played by Robert Picardo. For some reason I think it's cool, while others think it's nerdish. One would think I am a Trekkie, but that is really not the case. While I did enjoy the show and still consider the theme song of Enterprise (the original of course) to be one of my favorites, I really do not know the difference between different phasers and the different trirecorders (s) on any of the shows. See... I'm no Trekkie.

Even though I am not happy with my inability to know if the computer is actually off when I am not in the room, I am becoming more and more satisfied with the accuracy of the software. It seems to be pretty accurate if I keep a consistent tone and talk real loudly when I am adjusting the volume on my microphone. Otherwise, I almost blow out the system when I speak in a normal tone. Maybe now that I cannot complain about the accuracy as much, people will really see how terrible I am at writing.

Man, this day is even better than I thought. I am even getting an opportunity to look at a wonderful sunset as I write this. An inability to watch sunsets is definitely one drawback I will experience when I move my office from my bedroom into the room I had previously designated. It will, however, make me concentrate more on writing and reading. I just don't get the same feeling in my own bedroom that I do when I am in office which is designated as such. Even if it is one of my own stupid designations.

Back to the grind, but enthusiastically back

It has been an interesting few days. I was able to contact a friend whom I had lost touch with or over four years and discover that he is getting along tremendously. We spoke for quite some time and I was thrilled to discover he has become an enormous success in his field. When he left the Army in 1994, I initially thought he might be making a mistake, but I knew how great an NCO he was and how he had basically accomplished everything he had set out to in the past, with the exception of getting promoted when the military thought he should have, so it should not have surprised me that he has become as equally successful, if not more so, in the civilian world. He was able to take a buyout settlement from the military and go on to do great wonderful things in the world of nursing. The Army made a big mistake in letting him go. After putting him in the impossible situation of being a recruiter when he had just made sergeant, he succeeded at that, but at the detriment of his ability to do promoted within a timely manner. Had he been in a normal job within the MP field, he would have easily have been a Sergeant First-class by the time he elected to leave the military. Well at least there are untold thousands of people which benefit from his expertise in medical knowledge.

I have been able to get out of my funk and I am just bounding with enthusiasm right now. The only thing that has been holding me back a little is my mattress pad has developed a small pinhole leak and I am now looking around for a replacement once more. It is amazing how small things to the majority of the world are huge items in the life of a quadriplegic. Of course, if you read this particular blog you know I have been having trouble with my chair, thankfully it has been acting quite a bit better since my brother disconnected the control module a couple of days ago. Perhaps I just needed to be reset. Hopefully it will continue to work until I can get a newer wheelchair to replace it. I have recently put in a bid on a new mattress pad, which I think may work out just fine. It is extremely high tech and the only thing I am apprehensive about is the fact it is a used model. However, my previous rotating mattress lasted well over 10 years and it was used. The Internet has opened up avenues which did not exist when I initially approached the idea of purchasing my previous mattress 10 1/2 years ago.

I'm probably going to close for now and try to read some of my current novel. I just ordered another novel from the library by Lawrence Block. I am eager to find out if he is as good as I have heard. Maybe tomorrow I will go over a few of the shows that I have watched over the last several days. I don't know, just go over what tickles my fancy right now.

The audacity

This is just something I threw together in a moment of anger, but it does convey how important my wheelchair is to my life. Most people think a wheelchair is analogous to a vehicle, but that is not the case at all. Without my wheelchair I am unable to get out of bed and have any form of Independence. Being without a properly functioning wheelchair paralyzes my life more than a broken neck. Anyway, to my ramblings.

Just last night as I was riding in my van with my brother, I became agitated about the "so-called" wheelchair mechanic that I have come to despise in the past several months. I am more and more inclined to write an e-mail to the individual in charge of my new wheelchair fitting and demand this particular mechanic not be permitted to work with me during this process. His arrogance and condescension are too much for me to handle at this point. I have given this careful thought and consideration, but the way talks to me, let alone looks at me, is more than I can handle right now. Yesterday, as my wheelchair was experiencing more difficulties, all I could think about was how presumptuous this man was to be able to say there were no problems with a wheelchair, whatsoever. The fact my brother had to turn the system on and off in order to get me back in a position to be able to drive again yesterday evening is a strong indication there is a significant problem. The audacity of someone to tell another, especially someone like me who has been driving a chair for almost 11 years, that their chair has always been that way and they just weren't aware of it is unbelievable! It's more than that, it's unfathomable, almost bordering on unconscionable! I wonder if this mechanic or his boss had considered the liability this company could be under it's something were to happen to me as a direct result of their incompetence and implacability I could visualize this individual telling me it is impossible to move my armrests of my new chair up to the level they need to be at for me to sit properly in my wheelchair. He will see me sitting there in pain and say "I don't see a problem." The fact he has no regard for my personal safety is more than apparent to me. I've expressed, on more than one occasion, how extraordinarily dangerous it is for me to be by myself and have a wheelchair which is prone to breaking down, which this one currently is, to this individual and his boss, but despite my protestations he continues to deny there is anything wrong.
My therapist will be enormously upset with me if I decide to ask to be transferred back to my wheelchair once the actual fitting process has been actively recommenced. So, perhaps it is better for me to inform my therapist now of my other disdain for this particular individual. Maybe he can have another individual from the particular company come out and help with the fitting/sitting.

Aggravation won't get me down

Today did not turn out as I had anticipated; nonetheless, I got a few things accomplished. I did manage to make it to the wheelchair repair shop and after waiting about 30 minutes the mechanic came out and replaced my front right tire. Now at least my wheelchair doesn't sound like it's crunching glass and ready to fall apart every 2 feet. However, my attempt to get a simple connection cleaned in an effort to prevent the precarious predicaments my chair continues to put me in was squashed by a rather arrogant and intractable mechanic. Knowing this individual to well, I simply tried to explain how my chair intermittently will go into the drive mode after I have reclined and then inclined back into a sitting position, but the gears will not engage. His response was to just look at me in a bewildered manner, but say nothing, whatsoever. Realizing he doesn't see anything wrong with this, I offer my observation that this frequently occurs whenever I hit the headrest to fast after I have inclined back up to my driving position. This time he decides to sarcastically respond by telling me, "hit it slower then!" Unbelievable! Doesn't he realize that I occasionally hit it fast because I am in a hurry? I guess not. As I started to explain the reality of my situation, I could see he wasn't listening and had already made up his mind there was nothing wrong with my chair. This is the same mechanic I referenced in a previous entry on my spaces blog. Yes... the incompetent one. I know... I wouldn't have gone if I didn't think it was a rudimentary repair, which even a modestly competent mechanic could fix.

One would think this "supposed" wheelchair technician would have simply cleaned the contacts following my detailed explanation to him about how in extreme cases, when I'm not able to get the chair functioning by myself, I have had to have people disconnect these connections in order to get it working again. His answer was, "that resets it. I don't see the problem." As I look at him all I want to do is beat his face in, but the straps holding my arms down, not to mention my paralysis, thankfully prevented that from transpiring. Is it possible this moron cannot understand that I am not able to physically turn the chair off and on because my arms to move? The answer is he does, but he just doesn't give a shit. Every time I deal with this idiot I come away feeling completely aggravated. The only reason I go to this particular shop is because the other one is over an hour away and costs a fortune in gas to get there.

In all honesty, there are more reasons why I do not go to the shop, but I'll briefly elaborate on only one. On one particular occasion, when I was only able to drive about 1 mph, I unremittingly explained to him and the owner of the shop that I have to cross a certain crosswalk which requires me to get across quickly or get ran over. His response was once again, "I don't see a problem." Seems like a theme to me. Why doesn't the VA listen to the numerous veterans who gripe about the shop's inability to repair what is truly wrong with their chairs? I know there have been made veterans complaining. It is amazing how many nonessential things are repair on wheelchairs without any questions levity. I really believe somebody is getting some backend funding.

Putting my emotions in check, I simply left the shop knowing what needed to be done, and determined to have someone else do it. Perhaps I will have my local handyman do the simple repairs. I should have let this “so-called” mechanic know I had already communicated with the competent mechanics in the next county, who told me to simply have the contacts cleaned. But, it would have infuriated him that I had the audacity to talk with them in the first place. I can just hear it now... "They don't know what the hell they're talking about!" Believe me, I have heard this more than once from him. What a professional!

Wouldn't you know my chair would happen to experience this occasional occurrence right after I got home and then again later as I was writing this particular entry. (Now you know why I sound so venomous today). The first time my chair failed, I was in a hurry and simply forgot I needed slowdown. It took me 10 minutes to get the chair reset so it would drive once again. I probably could have simply had my sister-in-law disconnect the connections, but I needed to see if I could find a way to reset the chair without her hands. It is an essential to my mental health that I I be as independent as possible. The second recurrence happened when I was all alone and I kept at it knowing it was more than likely I could probably get the chair going one more time. Thankfully I was able to get this accomplished so I could move around. I would have gotten my thirsty, not been able to get to my water.

Since I have been trying to combine most of my trips in an effort to save on gas, following my escapade at the repair shop, I also went by the VA hospital to get a few supplies. I was also able to talk with the individual in charge of getting me a new chair. The unfortunate part of this meeting is he still wants me to try the chair I have been dealing with for over a year and a half. And guess what? Since he can't seem to get the stupid vendors to come out and help adjust the chair, he wants the aforementioned shop I had just visited, to help out with the fitting. He seems to be under the dissolution that the owner actually knows how to operate the sophisticated headrest which is sitting on the new chair I have been trying. (I will take pictures in the next couple of days). After telling him my recent bout with this particular chair, he replied, "let's at least if you are able to operate the headrest before we do too much more." The sad fact is I have to be seated properly in order to operate this particular headrest. How I know this? I have taken time to speak to the technicians which built the headrest. Too bad no one else has that time or inclination. Well, that is enough venting for today.

On second thought... I also discovered the new voice software I would like to purchase is going to cost me about $100 more than I was originally told. It seems I didn't get the last upgrade and now they're going to charge me about half that amount in order for me to buy the new one. Don't these people understand that buying a new upgrade every year is a bit ridiculous?

To make matters worse, my local sales representative told me I did not have the correct serial number. "It doesn't have enough digits." What the hell? I explained to him this is the serial number on the sleeve which the installation software came in, but he doesn't seem to be phased by this answer. So, I call my brother, who happens to have the installation software, to determine if I might have possibly mouthsticked the wrong number. No, I was right. Now thinking perhaps the sleeve had gotten mixed up with another one, I e-mailed the software company in an effort to find out which of the numbers I have is the serial number. After receiving no response six hours later, I spent about one hour looking through the Internet before I came across a forum which tells me where to look for the serial number on my computer. The real kicker is when I opened this particular file and discover the number I gave him in the first place was correct. He is lucky I just e-mailed him and didn't call. I definitely would have given him a piece of my mind, not that I really have too much to spare.


One would think by all of the negativity in this particular entry my entire day sucked, but that was not the case. Despite all of the bad things which transpired, it was enjoyable to get out and communicate with some of my acquaintances at the hospital. My night simply ended with a sense of optimism. It is difficult to explain why, but my spirits felt buoyed and there was no way I was going to let these trivial things bother me too much. In is also extremely cathartic to vent how all of my frustration here.

After looking at the length of this particular entry, I think I will save it and review it tomorrow to see how many errors there really are. I'm sure I will miss quite a few, I always seem to anyway. Maybe this new software will be a much-needed improvement, but my inability to dictate without changing my pitch and volume, and not to mention my frequent tailing off at the end of a sentence, will probably cause problems with this software also. Being such a high-level quadriplegic does have its drawbacks. I just don't have the lung capacity of an able-bodied individual any longer. I, therefore, write with much choppier or sentences than other individuals. I also tried to talk to fast, but at least I am not on a ventilator anymore.

Update: The software salesman/technician just called me as I was looking through this rather hurriedly and told me he was wrong and apologize profusely. He even informed me that the software will probably not benefit me as much as some of the other individuals who use all this other complicated things. However, if I don't get this upgrade the next one will even cost more. I was also given the caveat that my computer will probably run slower, since this new software requires 1GB of RAM. Yikes!.

Minor problems

This day has been extraordinarily hectic, to say the least. It started with an emergency catheter change, which almost went awry. My personal care assistant had difficulty getting the catheter into my stoma, suprapubic (a hole in the pelvis region which goes straight down to the bladder). Thankfully, she was able to get it and after a tremendous amount of work, but I have been plagued by bladder pain the entire day.

When shopping at Sam's and it took a considerably longer time that I had anticipated. I also spent an enormous amount of money, much more than I would have liked, however, at least I got enough food for the upcoming cookout. Once I returned home, I discovered my environmental control unit (ECU) was not functioning properly. There seems to be some sort of a short in the power supply. Thank goodness we were able to get it working, but now I'm going to have to call the technicians to see if they can get come out and replaced it ASAP. The aggravating part of this is it appears the damage was done by my house cleaners. Lately they are causing more damage than they are worth. They have been so nice to me and my family over the last several years it is almost like firing a family member if I were to let them go. This situation is also complicated by the fact that one of them has just contracted cancer and really needs the money to pay for their copayments.

As if that wasn't enough, my wheelchair has started making a horrible racket. I believe we have isolated the cause to my front right wheel. For the last several weeks it has made some noise, but now I am fearful it will fall off while I'm driving. Therefore, I am unable to go ride around the block, which is one of my most enjoyable things to do what I am at home for an extended period of time. This malfunction will necessitate a trip to the wheelchair mechanic, but I am definitely going to go to the closest one, despite the problems I have had with them in the past. Even though they are incompetent, when it comes to electrical problems, they do seem to be able to handle problems like this. It is also easier to get certain items replaced through them. They seem to have an inside track with the VA. I'm sure they're greasing the palms of somebody's hands, but of course I can't prove it. Since it benefits me, probably should keep my mouth shut.

At least my health is going well and my new mattress pad seems to be working very well. My brother seems to think it may be better for me in the long run that my older mattress. If this is the case, it would be the cheapest replacement I have ever been able to make for a critical item.

Note: I will try putting contact information on here later so anyone wanting to get on my personal site can e-mail me for permission. I have not established the site yet, but hope that will be able to get it done in the next few days.

Considering some things

Over the last few days my house has been rather busy. I am currently having my kitchen tiled and the gentleman is also going to finish up my laundry room. Once this is complete all of the tiling that I desired will be put in. I still excited about getting into my office, but I am unsure when I'm going to be able to get my brother to move my desk over there. Additionally, I have ran into to a problem with my new office echoing tremendously. I guess I didn't think about that when I decided to tile the room, but my last office had carpet and I ended up tearing it up in a few years. Tile therefore seem to be the only option. I guess I will be purchasing an artificial tree to put in the corner as well as some other items which can buffer the sound. It is going to take quite some time before I am able to get this room completely set up the way I would like, but it will be worth it in the end.

I did not write about all of the problems I was experiencing with my computer over the last week, but it has now been rectified and hopefully I will be back to normal, whatever that really is, in a short amount of time. The last week has also given me a lot of time to think about some issues I have a my life. Previously I have written about some of the low points I have had and loneliness, but it is difficult to explain to people that are not in my condition or experiencing the same situation. I have often thought about getting a little more in-depth, but I don't know if I want to share that type of information with people who might know me personally. Some of my acquaintances and friends have this blog web site so they can keep up with what I am doing. Therefore, I am considering making a separate blog for those of you interested in hearing some truly in-depth and very personal experiences of a simple quadriplegic trying to be as independent as possible.

Let me know if you're interested via a comment. Otherwise, I'm not going to bother. Try to leave me some way I can contact you.
This may have some are errors, but I have tried to eliminate most of them.
Till next time,
BP

Family crisis

Man am I really in a funk today. This state is probably because my sister-in-law's father had to undergo a quadruple bypass and it has thrown all of my lifestyle into disarray. I feel it is terribly inconsiderate of him not to consider me whenever he decides to have a heart attack. Of course, you know I'm just kidding. I was shocked by the news that he had suffered from a heart attack and required this serious surgery. He was just down here not more than a month and a half ago and was extremely healthy then... at least I thought. My entire family down here were on pins and needles until he came out of the surgery OK. Now we are waiting on my sister-in-law to decide when she is going to go up and visit her father.

Right now I am in a little to do the dilemma. My mattress is not working correctly and the new product I have purchased will not be until Monday. Additionally, I do not have adequate backup for my sister-in-law. It is very possible I will be able to get my former caregiver to come up here for a few days while my sister-in-law goes up north, but it is definitely be a change in my system.

On a completely different topic, NaturallySpeaking has been acting absolutely bizarre since I tried to install Internet Explorer 7.0 Beta. After I saw that it would not work properly with my software, I uninstalled it, but I did not solve all of my problems. Now, if I don't have enough other things to think about, I need to concentrate on seeing if I am able to repair the damage I have done to my software. I may just end up purchasing the newest version and retraining everything all over again. This, obviously, will require a significant amount of time, but perhaps I can read through the instruction manual and improve my dictation ability. Well enough of this boring stuff. I will try to write more over the next few days.

FYI, just began reading James Patterson's "3rd-degree."

Everyone reading this, please keep Leo in your thoughts.

August 7

If I thought I was having trouble getting motivated before, I had forgotten what it was like over 10 months ago. This is the second day in a row that I have spent a large part of the day alone and frankly it has been so long since I have been afforded the solitude which I used to take for granted, I am almost at a loss of what to do with myself. There are tons of ideas for blogs floating around of my head, but I need to get in the right mood to be able to work on anything. I guess I will just have to get hopping on my "to do" list.

For me this is almost unprecedented. It's only 1:30 p.m. and I am sitting here metaphorically twiddling my thumbs.

Routine Sunday

Another weekend has come and gone and once again I have managed to come up with new problems. Now my reliable mattress seems to have a leak and I am going to have to replace it in the very near future. Presently I am online looking at replacement costs, but it is almost like comparing apples to oranges. While I paid I considerable amount of money for the alternating pressure relief mattress I currently utilize, there seems to be quite a few cheaper alternatives I am going to attempt first. I am in no way under the illusion that I will be completely satisfied with these alternatives, but I am optimistic I will be able to eventually come up with a viable solution. Previously, perhaps well over a year ago, I mentioned that my mattress moves about 30° (although that has significantly diminished over the last couple of years) in order to promote circulation in my body. What happens is, a cell fills up with air on one side of the bed and tilts my body to the side for about 15 minutes. The air is then released and my body goes back to a flat position for 15 minutes. Once this time has elapsed, air is pumped into the other cell and my body turns to the other side. This is a continuous operation and I have become accustomed to it. Unfortunately, the newer or cheaper alternatives seem to complete this entire cycle within 10 minutes, instead of the hour of which I am accustomed. I am unsure of whether I will be able to get used to this rapid movement, but the price is right. We will have to be consistently vigilant of my skin to make sure there is no possible signs of a problem.

For some reason my microphone is having some difficulties also. The battery ran out pretty quickly today and I am hoping this is not the sign of a problem creeping up on me. I guess we will have to wait and see.
I was able to talk to the occupational therapist at the hospital on Friday. She informed me the new Dragon NaturallySpeaking is significantly better than the one I am currently using. She did, however, tell me it was on sale this month, but I have not been able to find the particular sale she mentioned. I told her about some of the problems I had with my microphone and she informed me that she used a similar microphone. It is difficult to understand why my microphone has somewhat of a muffled sound, but despite that it still seems to get pretty good accuracy. I really believe the majority of my problems are due to my inability to dictate at a constant tone and without emphasizing certain words. If I work on this I may be able to increase my accuracy even more. Well, enough of this boring chatter.

The children will be moving over on Monday evening and I will have to get used to not having them around 24/7. It has been 10 months since they moved in with me and it is going to be a considerable change in my life. Perhaps it will be a positive move for all of us. They are excited about starting school on Tuesday and I am equally enthusiastic about trying to complete many of the modifications or renovations I need to get done over the next few months. That is, of course, if the money holds up.

Another birthday gone by

Originally I anticipated writing about how my life has turned out in comparison to what I thought it would be like, but when I first woke up this morning, I was not excited about the day at all. That, however, changed at about 9:30 a.m. when I was greeted by my nephew and niece with a large plate of eggs and toast. I had almost forgotten it was my birthday, despite the fact that the kids kept reminding me all week. No matter how bad it felt before, those children bringing in the food and the small gifts they had made really buoyed my spirits.

It was even more uplifting when my niece kept reciting the phrase, "I want ketchup on my eggs and jelly on my toast!" This particular phrase is in reference to a story I have told my family a couple of times, but my niece informed me today that it was more like 40 times... who knows, but one day I will definitely write about that particular story.

I'm going to have to keep it short. Too many phone calls! And that is a good thing.
Till later.
Billy

Something accomplished. At last!

I was able to get something done over the last few days. Eureka! Although, now that I really think about it, I really didn't get too much accomplished, but something is better than nothing. My niece was properly registered into school yesterday and I went along to make sure everything went OK. Sure I am glad I did. It is possible she may not have gotten into advanced math had I not been there, but we don't have to worry about that any longer.

I did get some information on the company that made my rotating mattress and this may allow me to get some sort of repair parts. Oh, I probably did mention that the mattress has a slightly. If this deteriorates much more it will definitely affect my independence. Now all I have to do is call the company and see what can be done. I better get going on my "to do" list and try to get more accomplished. It seems like when I get something done around the house, something else goes wrong. That is probably what happens to everyone, but it is really aggravating when you're unable to do anything about yourself. I do know, however, that everything is going to keep improving and I am going to get this house exactly the way I want. I can't wait to find a particular occupation or trade to in which to immerse myself. It is definitely going to be something that I like to do. Well, I better close for now.