Bush did know!

Since I have never committed to keeping this particular blog nonpolitical, I am going to post a link here which will definitely leave my political leanings obvious. This is an outstanding investigative report done on Keith Olbermann's Countdown. It still continues to amaze me how Republicans can continue to say we should have gone into Iraq when we did and in the exact manner. I personally would respect them much more if they would acknowledge we made a mistake and now we need to repair that mistake. It seems as if they are ignoring the "Pottery Barn rule" which former Secretary of State Colin Powell eloquently laid out for the current administration.

If I could figure out how to paste the video write on here I would do so, but I am going to simply provide the link and you can click on the video, if you so desire.
Make sure you click here.

My epiphany on the Geico gecko; not!

Since I am feeling great and cannot seem to figure out what to write about, I decided to take something off of my "things I've noticed" list and write a little something about it. Number 9 on my list is "Has anybody else noticed that the Geico gecko now has an English accent now?" Thinking I was the only one with this unique insight, I decided to quickly confirm this by doing a quick Google. Man I love that word, just like Greg Ferguson does. For those of you who watch Greg Ferguson, you know what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't, he frequently jokes that he "googled" himself today. ;-) Know what I mean now?

After a quick search I discovered another individual was even more astute than I am. He identified the accent as not only being English, but being cockney. Man, now I feel really slow.

Blood pressure and optimism rise simultaneously

Although I have got some things accomplished in the last two days, it has been rather hectic. Just yesterday I lost my television reception, Internet connection, and telephone all at once. I guess that is one of the problems with having one company provide all of those services. It seems a careless operator of a backhoe inadvertently struck a critical connection and severed service for more than 29,000 people here in my area. It isn't until you don't have those services, that you realize how much you rely on them for much of your communication needs.

I did, however, take the opportunity to draft a few letters that I needed to get done and sent them out today. The large portion of the day was spent at a doctor's appointment. It is unfortunate that I had to go since all they did was ask me a few questions and then set me up with another appointment in three weeks to have my stomach scoped. Oh well, at least I will know if the discomfort I was experiencing a few weeks ago is anything to be worried about. One more health-related issue seems to have been rectified over the last two days. My continuous difficulties with my blood pressure dropping were definitely the result of my abdominal binders (these are corsets which constrict my abdominal muscles and allow me to breathe much more effectively) being worn out. I decided to go ahead and carefully use the abdominal binders the VA had provided me, despite the propensity of these binders to scrape and cut my skin. My caregivers are having to be extraordinarily cautious when removing my binder or putting it on. So far, I am able to function much quicker after eating and my energy level has boosted considerably. Maybe now I will be able to try to find the ever elusive passion which I used to have when I attended school. This is the first time in my life I have not had a long-term, midterm, or even a short-term goal. I am definitely one of those goal oriented people and have been a hobby or passion is a critical aspect of being retired. This is something I need to regain in short order. Having my blood pressure under control and feeling considerably better should aid me in finding something I am more interested in. I simply cannot wait.

If you haven't noticed, this particular entry is much more upbeat. The only negative thing that happened to me today was when a nice gentleman from prosthetics (the individuals responsible for approving the repairs to my wheelchair) asked me if it was my old chair being repaired or my new chair the last few times I repairs have been done. I sadly had to inform him it is my older chair, since my newer one is still at the VA and I am refusing to sign for it until it is usable. Hopefully he will keep off the rising the necessary repairs and I am definitely going to try to keep these down to a minimum. All I need to do right now is get the bracket, which was temporarily well did a few weeks ago, repaired and make a minor adjustment to my new headrest and everything should be good to go.

Perhaps I forgot to mention that the problem I was having with my chair failing to go into gear once I had sat upright was the result of my older headrest finally giving up the ghost. Thankfully I had a spare on hand, but that is an extremely long story. I had initially thought it was $8,000 that the VA had wasted and even tried to get the VA to return the headrest once we determined it was not the problem, but they refused to do so. So, I kept the headrest in a closet for about four years and now it is getting its use.

Trying to stop procrastinating

After reading some of these witty and delightfully funny entries that other people have written, it is difficult to think that many people would even be interested in anything I have to say. Frankly this particular journal/blog is more for me than anyone else, but it could possibly help some understand what it is like to deal with quadriplegia. I, however, have changed what I initially set out to do with this particular blog. I am hoping one day to get better at writing and possibly showcasing that with some good blogs on my other sites. There are other quadriplegics out there writing quite effectively and able to describe their difficulties much more effectively, but we are all different aren't we?

On a completely different note, I have't been able to write effectively, that is if I ever am able to, for the last few days. Yesterday I was having difficulty keeping my blood pressure at a reasonably sustainable level and therefore I felt considerably weak. To me it was as if my abdominal binder, which assists me immeasurably in keeping my blood pressure up and allowing me to breathe properly, was not tight enough. Late last night I discovered this was actually a fact. Today I am doing much better and just trying to fight off what seems to be my ineluctable (inevitable) battles with procrastination and lassitude. All I have on my table today is to watch my alma mater and then possibly read some of the new novel, Killing Floor, by Lee Child. Re: procrastination I read an interesting blog by Colin.

I need to get myself back in to my normal groove. I used to actively try to improve my vocabulary and I have been noticeably forgetting to check my vocabulary lists. I have about 75 words on the Word a Day program I still need to go through, in addition to the multitude of pages of words I have extracted from novels and books I have read over the years. Some of these words are things that do not come up in everyday language. One of these days I really would like to write a witty entry full of words that need to be looked up in order to comprehend what is meant by the entry. I have thought about making it something about people that love to show how intelligent they are by writing with such a robust vocabulary that normal people cannot understand what they are writing about. Don't know if it would really appeal to too many people, but then again much of what I write does not. There was one gentleman, who may not be alive any longer, that used to like to argue with me via e-mail and I literally had to look up at least 10 words in order to fully understand what he was saying. He was definitely well above my level of comprehension.

Hopefully I will get around to writing a letter about modifying my door opener, but I need to first read about how to properly frame the letter so that I can possibly get a grant to make sure this modification takes place. I had one door opener installed with the ability to use a remote control, but my garage door is now being opened by an electronic device which is activated by my ECU (Environmental Control Unit). In the event there is a power outage, I will not be able to open my garage door. Since I do have a power backup for the door going into the garage, it would be beneficial for me to get the actual garage door backed up and able to be open to my ECU via a remote control. I, therefore, need a draft a proper letter in order to get a grant to allow me to do this without costing me a fortune. I have many other things on my list of things to do, but this is probably one of the more important. Others I have been consistently trying to work off as time goes by, but this is a time-consuming proposition for the most part. For example, my office is still rather sparse and echoing like a chamber. I just do not want to invest the money into putting new cabinets into the walls yet and it seems a bit silly to try to put too many things in here which will ultimately be removed later. Well, perhaps I will begin reading about the grant process. Oh joy.
Till later,

Just another boring day

I have been trying to write, but I just can't seem to get much in my mind that needs to come out. Two days ago it decided to rain like cats and dogs down here and my root decided they couldn't take it any longer. I now have a leak in my bedroom which needs to be repaired. Of course it is going to be costly and I may end up having to delay some of the painting I was having done.

At least I am feeling considerably better. Last night I was able to finish the novel Hit Man. For me it is nice to finish a novel. He gives me a sense of accomplishment, even though it really isn't that great. I have given considerable thought into what I'm going to do in the future, and I have decided to remind myself that I'm supposed to be retired. Therefore, I don't need to do anything I don't want to. I am thinking about writing something on this very subject, but as I stated earlier, it is difficult to get things to come out on paper.

Well, I better get going and make sure I update my to do list. I have managed to accomplish a few things today, but I definitely did not get what I wanted to get done. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

Really back now

I am back in the saddle again. I have full use of my chair, albeit temporary, and it even have my workstation setup in my new office or as some refer to it as my den. Anyway, today has been an extremely lethargic day with really nothing much going on. This is primarily because I have felt extraordinarily fatigued and had a really difficult time just concentrating on the normal things I needed to get accomplished, of which, nothing was accomplished. My "to do" list just seems to be growing without any resolution in sight.
My office has been freshly painted with some really vibrant colors and I am optimistic this will give me the enthusiasm and energy which I have lacked within my bedroom office. Perhaps now I will be able to do some more productive things. Maybe I will even be able to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of my life. Right now I am leaning toward trying to improve my writing and maybe even taking some courses to that effect. I used to have grand ambitions of writing a novel one day, but for some reason I have seemed to shelve that dream as unreachable. In the past, whenever I had some weakness identified, I was always able to garner all of my strength and overcome that weakness and make it into a strength. What happened to that drive? I need to regain that. Last night I took one step in that direction by going to a dinner which was celebrating the third anniversary of a group which is dedicated to getting disabled people integrated into normal society. Although I do not really need help in this matter, I belong to this organization in an effort to mentor as many people as possible, in addition to trying to bridge some of the difficulties in this particular process. Just some of the work I have done within my local communities has opened the eyes of many people to the fact that people of all sorts of disabilities can not only perform, but they can be a vital resource on which to draw.

Some might remember me mentioning something about eBay, but I just don't know right now. I spent about 20 something dollars on a book which is supposed to be a guide on how to start an eBay business. Problem is I really do not even know if that is actually what I want to do, but $20 is better than spending an enormous amount of money only to find out later that I have wasted it. At least I will be able to sell a few items and maybe I will enjoy working in that industry.

At least I am feeling better and actually have been for quite some time. I believe whatever I contracted a while ago was some sort of urinary problem. Thankfully I was able to rectify the situation with an aggressive treatment of water and cranberry supplements. Now all I need is an infusion of Mountain Dew and I will be able to feel more enthusiastic about writing.

I was able to speak with one of my rather reclusive friends today. It was quite enjoyable, as it always is with her. My ex-wife also called and let me know she is thinking about coming in December. I will keep my fingers crossed, so to speak. Hopefully I will be able to begin to share some thoughts about what is going on in the world, but I am not too confident about that right now.

This has been rather jumbled, but it is the way things came to me this particular day. I know one thing is a fact or at lease I want it to be, and that is that I am going to try to read more novels in an effort to improve some of my skills as a writer. If I don't learn that much, at least I got a chance to read some really good things. Exercising my mind and being active is all that I can ask right now. I just need to be confident that I am enjoying my life to the fullest extent possible.

Almost back

Due to a combination of many things, I have not been able to write in this blog lately. Hopefully I will be back in business tomorrow.

Not feeling well

This sounds like a broken record, especially to everyone who reads my journal on blogger, but once again I didn't get anything accomplished of substance today. I had a specific blog I had intended to write, but I don't feel compelled to work on it right now. Yeah, I have the blues. Literally the blues... I am now more convinced than ever there is just too much blue in my bedroom. I have a bluish carpet and blue curtains. There needs to be more color in my room and this is why I have spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what colors I am going to paint my house interior.

The woman who is supposed to be doing my painting came by once again this afternoon and I spent about two hours going over the house with her and picking out colors that I thought would go okay in each room. I also wanted a specific type of painting technique performed in many of the rooms and now after getting me all excited, she has just informed me that she has learned this particular procedure takes quite a bit of time and therefore will cost a lot of money. If she didn't know what the heck I was talking about or how to perform the procedure, why didn't she tell me earlier. Perhaps she was afraid of losing the sale, but now I'm getting a bit aggravated.

Like yesterday, when I had difficulty with my blood pressure being too low following my meal, I spent a large portion of that time talking on the telephone. In case you're wondering, low blood pressure is a problem I deal with all of the time. In fact, I was not able to sit upright and talk to anyone for the first couple years following my initial injury. It took quite a bit of training and stamina building, of which working on the computer in an upright position has been a key element, to be able to talk with the force I am able to muster now as well as carry on normal conversations without stopping and lying my chair back.

Hopefully it is something minor and I am making more out of it than I should be, nevertheless, I do not want to have to take an emergency trip into the hospital ER lying in a recumbent position in one of our finest's ambulances, so I will probably go by tomorrow and see if they have any idea what can be going on with me.

Once I was able to get my blood pressure to the point I could sit up without feeling lightheaded, I began to work earnestly on my computer, checking e-mail and various other things. Unfortunately it only took a few more hours before I developed, what felt like, hunger pains. Given the amount I had eaten at lunch and the fact that only four hours had elapsed since that meal, I felt it was not simple hunger. Like a typical intractable quad, this was a conclusion which I did not come to easily. Last night I had a similar bout, which I also initially chalked up to being the beginning of a hypoglycemic attack, but when the pain did not diminish after I had eaten dinner, I knew it was not hypoglycemia. Now this has transpired twice in the last few days, I now believe this is more serious than I had originally anticipated. I had a similar problem a few weeks ago and the doctor changed my antacid. Since this has recurred and I am not easily able to pinpoint the problem, I believe I will probably go in and get checked out tomorrow just to be on the safe side. One of the difficulties of living a life in quaddom is that it is not always easy to identify what is causing specific problems or pains. Hopefully it is something minor and I am making more out of this than it should be, but I do not want to take an emergency trip into the hospital ER lying in a recumbent position being transported by one of our finest in a ambulance. I'll let you know more tomorrow.

Hopefully this is somewhat legible. I was trying to write this in a hurried manner, but I kept stopping to make sure I was making sense. The discomfort I am feeling is making it difficult for me to concentrate, so I'm going to get off the computer. When I started this, the pain had subsided some, but it has returned wholesale. Maybe after I am feeling better I will take this off spaces.
Until next time.
Billy

feeling better

UPDATE:
I did get to the doctor today and thankfully he went over my history extensively. He is not quite sure what is going on, but has decided to up my dosage of antacid and also ordered some upper G.I. tests to be performed in the very near future. Like me, he is concerned and spent a considerable amount of time talking with me about what was going on. Just his dedication and concern makes me feel considerably better. That someone as thorough as him works at the VA may surprise many people, but over the last five or six years I have seen a complete transformation and am now feeling significantly more secure every time I go there.

When I first began writing this blog last night I felt fine, just a little pain, but by the time drew near the end I did not feel well at all. It was probably obvious toward the end of my entry that I was getting a little nervous, but that was mainly because I was fearful that I might have some sort of G.I. bleeding, since I have had this problem in my past. My first episode was when I was first injured and had to have three peptic ulcers closed with a scope while I was being infused with six life giving units of blood. My second was a lower G.I. I bleed which took place two weeks following a colonoscopy. Yes a simple colonoscopy, during which they were trying to remove a polyp that had been stubbornly resisting them for over a year. Unfortunately, the cauterization failed to hold and I ended up bleeding out rather profusely.

Thankfully I was able to get through those two difficulties, but they left me a little skittish about any type of unusual pains in my stomach. Although I still feel a little pang in my upper stomach, I am doing considerably better than I was last night. Personally I think last night's experience was not about the pain, but more about facing the probability that I may have a serious problem creeping up. Following my doctors visit today, I feel considerably better and that in itself is the most important thing right now.
Till later.
Billy
PS I definitely didn't check this over very well. My microphone was also a little too close, so my accuracy is not as great as it has been over the last week or so.

His first football game

My nephew's first football game was a success, but of course it was a little costly to my wallet. However, that did not diminish my enthusiasm about the fact he was able to learn what a touchdown is an even became enthusiastic when USF scored right in front of us. All of this unbridled joy I was experiencing was nonetheless dealt an almost fatal blow when I realized he was more excited about getting his picture taken with one of the Chick-fil-A cows than he was about the football game. Oh well, what do you expect from an 11 year old that has shown no interest in football to this point? at least he didn't play tiddlywinks and look extremely bored through the whole game.

Today one of my perennial concerns was realized once again when my sister-in-law showed up feeling a little under the weather. She is coming down with a cold and even though I am emotionally do not want her to get sick because she is my sister-in-law, I cannot help but think about the possibility she might not be able to get me up in the mornings and set me up for the entire day for a short period of time. This possibility would necessitate having to make other arrangements for my morning daily care, but more importantly it would be expensive and a great burden on my already troubled patience. Even though I am in the process of training a fallback personal care attendant, the training necessary to get one completely take over is quite exhausting. While this seems rather self-absorbed, it is a reality of being a quad who is completely reliant on others in order to perform normal everyday functions which others take for granted. Personal care attendants or caregivers are the lifeblood of virtually all of the life's of quadriplegics. Hopefully she will be able to avoid coming down with a serious upper respiratory infection and be able to get back to 100% within a short amount of time.

My plans are not so grandiose for today, all I have on schedule is to try to write something and read some of the new novel, "Hitman" by Lawrence block, I just got from the library. We will see if I get anything accomplished.

Off to the football game

I have had difficulty getting my blood pressure up to a sustainable level until now (around 4:30 p.m.). Oh well, at least it is up in enough time for me to get ready to go to the South Florida, or as the people around here called the team USF, football game this evening. My nephew, Austin, is extraordinarily excited. When his mother asked if she should go, he responded in the negative. It is obvious he wants to have an all male experience and since he doesn't often have a chance to go with only us men, I don't see any reason why we can't. Thankfully his mother understands and is planning to spend some quality women time with his sister. Although I am consistently trying to make sure he values all of the women in his life, I do not want him to turn into a mama's boy. I know that sounds male chauvinistic, but he does need to escape the trappings of her apron strings every now and then. Man, that doesn't sound right. Especially considering I have never seen her do anything which required her to wear an apron.

Well, I had better get going. I have a little bit more to do before we go. I'm supposed to be going over colors on the Home Depot site, so my painter will have an idea of what I want to do with the House, but I have not been too enthusiastic about this yet. I am eager to get the house painted, but I don't want to cement all of my colors in stone until I see a couple of rooms completed.

My list of blogs that I have been wanting to do for my other blog site is growing, but for some reason I cannot seem to get going on the writing aspect. Presently I am toying with the idea of writing about an experience I had with some rock bands back in the 80s and juxtaposing that with David Lee Roth in 2006. Additionally I am thinking about writing about my first marriage and the terrible experience I had with that. I have quite a few other ideas, but I need to get writing on some of them in order to get something decent now. There is one essay I did a long time ago, which happens to be in my boxes, that I really want to re-mold and get much more refined. It has a ton of potential, but I must admit I stole the idea or at least the concept from some other publication a long time ago. I guess as long as I take the idea and make it my own, completely divorced from his, it really isn't stealing. As I look back on what I have written tonight, I cannot help but notice all of the expository type of writing which I engage in. Maybe this is just my history degree coming back to haunt me. I know I should have taken that creative writing course this semester, but I didn't think I would have the time.